Divorce Blog

The Connotation of Life After Divorce

By Karen Stewart

Happy Mature ManWe’ve all heard the phrase before: life after divorce. It sounds like a catch phrase but doesn’t seem to be the most accurate when it comes to the connotation of how divorce is defined. Roll off the tongue as it may, it just doesn’t seem right.

But there is definitely a relation between how the phrase “life after divorce” is defined and felt. It is meant to be a phase in your life where you make the reconnection with yourself, your core, your beliefs. A life-altering event such as divorce almost demands it.

Finding out more about who you are might seem like a scary opportunity, but it is an opportunity. You can accept it and move forward or fight it. Not only should you accept this change, but you should embrace it as well.

There will come a point in the “life after divorce” where you recognize your solace from those everyday thoughts and actions that may have left you apprehensive. You also begin to appreciate scenarios that may have scared you previously. Things like travelling alone, going to the movies, alone, or cooking alone, for example.

Things to Appreciate About Life After Divorce

Moving forward after a divorce is about small steps and self-recognition. It is about realizing that being alone is okay and not a reason for you to be cast out as a pariah. Consider:

Eating out by yourself and being totally comfortable with it

  • You will begin to appreciate the personal time alone and away from your usual environment.
  • You are with your own thoughts and you learn a new appreciation for soaking in the environment and your surroundings.
  • There is a certain amount of strength within yourself to sit alone.

Being okay the house is not pristinely clean at all times

  • You only need to impress yourself. This will help you learn that you don’t need to impress others.

The freedom to explore on your terms

  • This is an opportunity to follow through with your thoughts and ideas. You are on your own schedule. You can go where you want and do as you please.
  • Get in touch with who you really are.

 You are defined as only you

  • There is no longer a role to assume as we generally accept in the context of relationships.
  • You have the opportunity to set yourself up again as a complete human being, comprehending your feelings on a greater basis.

Not being a victim

  • You can revisit some of the hurtful things that have happened, but not being a victim is choosing to grow from these situations and viewing it as an opportunity to grow.
  • We create our story- it can be the sad events that have occurred or the positive choices we made because we were given those opportunities.

When tackling life after divorce, it presents the opportunity to view things from a different perspective. You are essentially a new version of your former self. Remember to create your own story. There will come sad times, how you deal with them is what allows you to grow in the face of those sad times.

Consider the opportunities at hand in the wake of divorce. Ask yourself how you are able to learn and grow from those opportunities. Most of all, use it as a platform to launch your new self.