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Divorce Blog

Conscious Uncoupling

By Karen Stewart

Gwyneth Paltrow coins the phrase Conscious UncouplingI am not sure exactly what “conscious uncoupling” means. However, Gweneth Paltrow has used this term to capture the ending of her marriage.

Recent posts on Huffington suggest that this term has been used throughout history. Each in different contexts to indicate a mutual parting of the ways. While I do not mind the look and feel of these words, I wonder if this is not another way to camouflage the heartache of a sad, painful ending.

There is a fine line between putting forward a brave face and denial.

If “conscious uncoupling” is the result of several years of mutual support, concluding that parting ways are in their soul evolution’s best interest, then great. If, on the other hand, it is just a way of putting off deep introspection and avoiding the hard work of making a marriage great regardless of the obstacles of life — then I say that conscious uncoupling is another term for giving up.

It makes sense that a divorce will trigger all of our defenses and that it will be hard to stay conscious in those moments. Understanding that you are committing to being intentional because it is in your best interest and the interests of your children can remind you that there is a better way.

– Tammy Nelson PhD, Huffington Post Contributor