Divorce Blog

50 Shades of Grey, Living dangerously through fictional sex lives

By Karen Stewart

Last week I was heading out of town for a business trip. As I was sitting in the waiting area to board the plane I could not help but overhear a couple of middle-aged women (my vintage) talking about “50 Shades of Grey” and comparing it to their sex lives at home. I was trying desperately to focus on the work that I needed to complete but it was really hard considering their conversation was so much more interesting and juicy. We all know that while we may criticize men for their overt sexual comments — put a few women together and we can be much worse.

So, here I was listening to them complain about the lack of their sexual experiences in their own bedrooms and then raving about what the women in this book were experiencing. I was trying really hard to mind my own business but I found myself drawing some interesting observations. These two women would likely have fit into the average married North American female in their age, weight, income and status so they in my mind likely represent a reasonable number of women. As we boarded I ended up being sat right behind them and so for about 2 hours, I got to hear bits and pieces as they continued their dialogue. They seemed to be so wrapped up in the fantasy of the book that they did not realize that many could hear them including the very shy guy beside me who I could tell wanted to crawl under the chair.


Fictional Sex LivesThere is no doubt that the likes of Sex in the City and juicy sexual novels are fun to read and perhaps stir us sexually. However, what I found disturbing was how they aspired to be more sexual with their partners while at the same time spent the entire time complaining about their sex lives. So what has stopped the female from taking charge – now and again – in the bedroom? Perhaps our bedroom antics need to catch up to our boardroom antics. Why not forget the need for communication and cuddling (well at least for a few nights) and just enjoy and engage in raw pleasure. Trust me, you give him that and he will be talking up a storm in no time. I am sure that a few men have experienced this in the last few months as women have crawled into bed with this book, felt fulfilled with the books communication and then ravaged their partner.

Living the reality of a great sex life is much better and healthier than just reading about it. I have never had a couple divorce who have said: “ya -our sex life is amazing and so we are getting a divorce”. So the best thing of all by fulfilling your sex life is that you will NOT join the masses whose marriages are failing.