Divorce Blog

Relationship Agreements in Difficult Times

By Karen Stewart

Estranged ManThe stress in our lives is normally palpable even in good times. This is because life is tough, no matter how you slice it. Even if you are in a fair financial position, the stresses of a strained relationship can make relationship agreements a necessity.

When it comes to stressed and troubled relationships, a relationship agreement can do wonders. Sticking it out through a challenging emotional situation can seem like a disaster in the making. That leaves the question of whether or not to stick it out or pull the plug.

Relationship Agreements Help

Estranged Women If the decision has been made to move forward with the separation, look into relationship agreements. These help to outline the parameters that can create a successful relationship structure. Even in the face of divorce, relationship agreements can help keep both parties working amicably.

Especially if there are children involved, having a clearly defined relationship agreement in place can help to set important guidelines. Maybe it sets clear definitions for how each parent is to behave in certain situations.

Perhaps a relationship agreement that defines who has access to the children on what dates and times. This can help keep tempers at bay and prevent any additional unwanted fights from coming to the forefront.

Relationship Agreements are Not About Keeping Score

There is a bit of a common misconception about relationship agreements. There is this thought that an agreement is about “keeping track” of who does what in the marriage. It definitely is not about a way of expecting something nice in return.

Chores, child care, basic relationship goals are all apart of conflict for couples. And while there are some out there who can afford solutions like a cleaning service, that isn’t the heart of the issue. Handling the conflict is the heart of the issue.

In a relationship contract, couples can make their expectations known and come to compromises. More importantly, It is a way of providing accountability to the words being said, otherwise they would be meaningless.

These agreements can be revised as changes in life happen. It is not, however, a mandate. The agreement provides structure where structure can be a helpful tool for a marriage.

Being Better Partners

Most importantly, relationship agreements have the ability to make for a better partner. They are not about having a totally equal relationship. There are sure to be imbalances here and there.

The goal is about creating better, more accountable partners. Responsibility and accountability may not necessarily be fun, but they are a necessity. But with an agreement in place, those goals remain at the forefront.

There is no more “I forgot”. There is no “I promise to be better.” There are simply goals that both parties can strive to live by. Couples can find room for tangible improvement this way.

Parenting Marriage

A relationship agreement may lead to something known as a parenting marriage. Think of the agreement as a guideline. The guideline focuses on providing structure to the relationship. It can also act as a much-needed pause button in the toughest of times.

With a parenting marriage agreement, it can keep the seams together even when it seems like they may be falling apart rapidly. Even if it can’t save the relationship as a whole, these relationship agreements can help create defined strategies that are best for the children and the family as a whole.

If you find yourself ready to pull the plug on the marriage but can’t take that final leap, consider a relationship agreement. Sure, It might not solve every single issue in the marriage. However, it creates a level of structure that can leave the family functioning on a somewhat regular basis.

Fairway Can Help Creating Relationship Agreements

Creating an effective relationship agreement might sound easy, but it takes a guiding hand. Fairway is the guiding hand that can help create the perfect relationship agreement for you.

Most importantly, we work with each client to find out what their needs are. At Fairway, we ensure that the needs of both parties are given the proper attention that they deserve. In the end, it is about creating as close to a balance as possible.

If you think that your relationship could benefit from a relationship agreement, make it happen today. It might be the step necessary to bring order to your relationship going forward.