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Divorce Blog

Making the Decision to Separate

By Karen Stewart

Confident WomenMaking the decision to divorce is likely one of the most difficult and painful decisions that two people can make. Perhaps it feels as if you are approaching the end of your marriage, but aren’t quite there yet. You have tried counselling and the issues and problems remain. What your marriage really needs is an opportunity to step away from the conflict and allow the wounds time to heal.

Perhaps you have come to point where you have made the decision to divorce but the financial realities are preventing you to do so and you will need to share a residence for a number of months, or perhaps even a year or longer. While not everyone is able to do so, there are lots of reasons people will continue sharing a home after the decision to divorce has been made.

In either case, the boundaries within your relationship are shifting and if you are to maintain a relationship with your spouse, it is essential to redefine the roles and responsibilities, as well as the boundaries within the relationship. More so than any other time in your marriage, it is important that you sit down and define the boundaries.

Mediation is a practical approach that will focus on the immediate and future needs of the relationship. Your Fairway Divorce Solutions® mediator will work with, and for you, in order to develop meaningful communication strategies and redefine structures within your marriage.

Your Fairway Dispute Solutions mediator will assist to create an arrangement between you and your spouse that redefines boundaries in your relationship. Some examples of boundaries that can be covered in this arrangement may include:

  • Selecting a counselling processes appropriate to your needs
  • Defining assertive and respectful strategies that support dynamic communication with your spouse.
  • What to say to friends and family, and more importantly, to children
  • Strategies that create physical space, should emotional temperatures increase
  • Assessing parenting strategies that will allow each of you independent time with the children
  • Creating plans for financial independence while still acknowledging the obligation of family money.
  • Redistribution of household responsibilities such as laundry, dishes, paying bills, etc…
  • Identifying new sexual boundaries inside the relationship
  • Creating boundaries around dating and new relationships
  • How to change course if the emotional temperature changes

Your Fairway Dispute Solutions mediator is a specialist in understanding and balancing family dynamics. To schedule an appointment to meet with a mediator please call 1-866-755-3247.