Divorce Blog

Living Together After Making the Decision to Separate

By Karen Stewart

Couple Making the Decision to SeparateMaking the decision to separate and possibly get a divorce is undoubtedly one of the most painful and difficult decisions that any two people can make. Maybe it feels like you are near the end of the marriage but haven’t quite hit the end. You know the gloves are off and you are fighting all the time. Or, maybe you not talking to each other at all. Communication is at an all-time low and things don’t look good.

Perhaps you have tried counselling, and yet the issues remain. So, maybe what your marriage really needs is a chance to step back from all of the conflicts. Take the allow time to heal the wounds that plague and damage the relationship.

Or perhaps you have come to the point where you have made the decision to separate and eventually divorce. Perhaps the financial realities of separating have prevented you from doing so. This means that you need to keep sharing the space with your significant other (and all the awkwardness) for a long time to come.

Staying Home After Making the Decision to Separate

Whatever the case may be, having to live in the same space after making the decision to separate can make things awkward. The boundaries within your relationship will shift. This makes it essential to redefine the roles and responsibilities within that relationship.

More so than any other time in the relationship, it is important to sit down and define the boundaries. Making these roles clearer helps to solidify the relation and make things easier from a communication aspect.

Using mediation after the decision is made to separate can be the practical approach you need. Mediation can help to focus on both the immediate and future needs of the relationship. Having a Fairway Divorce Solutions mediator to work with you can help develop meaningful communication strategies within your marriage.

Creating Dispute Solutions

Mediation is a practical approach that will focus on the immediate and future needs of the relationship. Your Fairway Divorce Solutions® dispute mediator will work with, and for you, in order to develop meaningful communication strategies and redefine structures within your marriage.

Your divorce mediator will work with you and create an arrangement between yourself and your spouse after the decision to separate has been made. This separation agreement will help to define the boundaries in your relationship and help to create clearer communication.

Here are a few examples of the boundaries and changes that can be covered in an arrangement:

  • Defining assertive and respectful strategies. These support dynamic communication with your spouse.
  • Selecting a counseling processes appropriate to your needs.
  • What to say to friends and family, and children.
  • Strategies that create physical space, should emotional temperatures increase.
  • Assessing parenting strategies. This will allow each of you independent time with the children so that they get the attention they need.
  • Creating plans for financial independence while still acknowledging the obligation of family money.
  • Creating boundaries around dating and new relationships.
  • Identifying new sexual boundaries inside the relationship.
  • Redistribution of household responsibilities such as laundry, cleaning, paying bills, etc.
  • How to change course if the emotional temperature changes.

Mediation Can Help

The most important step is clear. and that is to contact your Fairway mediator right away. They are specialists with the proper understanding and balancing of family dynamics. Most of all, they can help in the transition period after the decision to separate is made and make life a little easier for you. Schedule an appointment to meet with a divorce mediator by calling 1-866-755-3247.