Coping with Divorce for Positive Outcomes
Divorce itself is not bad! How we interpret it and how it plays out in our lives is what makes it worse. It is important to start by coping with divorce itself. When we hear the word “Divorce” we tend to have visions of tears, heartache, fighting, financial loss and children suffering.
Decades ago, only a small percentage of the population was getting divorced and we had no problem compartmentalizing them into a small unlikely group of parents and kids. Them vs. us! “What goes on behind closed doors” is not our problem, was a common belief. We were quick to label this unfortunate group and their children in derogatory ways. We even went as far as to blame bad behaviour on “the broken home.”
Thank goodness, we are avoiding many of these clichés today but we still have a long way to go. Let’s start by changing how we “cope with divorce” to “how we can embrace the lessons of divorce.”
Let’s start here. Instead of letting divorce define you, use the lessons you learn to make you stronger and more resilient. Use the time during the divorce to reflect on changes you would like to make in your life and yourself.
Then, understand that divorce is neutral, not bad. It was likely due to an incompatibility rather than things that should define you. By changing your perspective, you can focus on understanding the breakdown and making changes that might be needed for building future, healthy relationships.
Lastly, instead of treating divorce as a lifetime legacy, understand that it is only one experience in your life. You have many other positive experiences in your life, so don’t let your divorce overshadow all of the things that have and will continue to go right.
By changing how you think about it, coping with divorce will be easier on you and your family.