Divorce Blog

Be Empowered to Handle the Waves of Life

By Karen Stewart

I recently visited Placencia, Belize. While spending a day on the Caribbean, I had a thought: life is a lot like the waves at the beach. Sometimes they roll in steadily and smoothly, and other times they crash into us with unexpected force. This reminded me of how to process divorce and how our client’s attitude helps them handle the waves of their life.

Are You Prepared for the Waves of Life?

Women at BeachInterestingly, nature has so many lessons to teach us. Oceans can be both peaceful and calm or rough and destructive. This can be an eerie reminder of life and its many ups and downs. On the waves, some boats are prepared to ride through the rough waters and come out the other side untouched. Others implode because the boat and its captain are not prepared to handle the waves that come with a storm.

Life presents us with so many waves of both happy and trying times. Some we see coming, and others catch us off guard. It is our mental state of preparedness that will predict how we handle difficult events and come out on the other side.

How to Process Divorce

I vividly remember Sally finding out her marriage was over, and how quickly she went to a place of self-pity. Her recovery was long and painful, even with the help of Fairway, as she refused to embrace the lessons and use it to lay the foundation of new beginnings. If Sally’s story were the sea, it would be choppy and unforgiving.

I contrast Sally’s journey with that of another Fairway client. Debbie, who also found out her husband wanted a divorce, chose to process the event differently. While she was still sad and even angry, she refused to be a victim. Debbie quickly turned her attention to getting the division of assets behind her so she could move on with her life. She looked for a new circle of friends who, like her, found themselves single past the age of 55.

Unlike Sally, Debbie took accountability for her life and this unexpected wave. She chose to lay the foundation for new beginnings rather than focus on the past with regret. Today, Debbie looks and feels ten years younger. She has hope.

Finding Happiness and the Power of Perception

Our happiness is linked to our ability to ride with the ups and downs of the waves. You can boost your well-being by processing life through the lens of accountability and hope. Life is how we perceive it. We often make the mistake of labeling our perception as fact instead of taking a step back to see our life as it is. If we approach each event in life by observing from the place of calm and acceptance, we can avoid actions and thinking that will kill our spirit and relationships. We can learn to embrace even difficult lessons as we have what it takes to have an amazing life, no matter what wave we are riding right now.

Karen Stewart