Blog Entries

Staying Relentlessly Focused on the Positive Vision

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:36:33 +0100

We know that the most powerful tool in manifesting our dreams and goals is to have a clear vision of what we want. Our painted picture of what we want “it” whatever ”it” may be – to look like. It is really that simple --- being relentless about the outcome and trusting that you will get there….but having the fortitude and grounding to give up on controlling the ‘How.’

This has been my personal mantra and it has made my life a lot easier. It will hel [...]

Dear Divorce Guru

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:39:42 +0100

Dear Divorce Guru,

My daughter and son-in-law are divorcing and they have two kids. I have been crying for months. My daughter has initiated this. He has the money, the house and the kids, while she has pretty much lost everything. I tried to talk to my son-in-law last night and he hung up on me. My husband will not talk about it and has closed down. He is mad at his daughter. I cannot talk to him. I feel so isolated.

Signed: Troubled

[...]

GUEST BLOG: Sandy Schuler

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:52:51 +0100

Sandy Shuler is a Calgary-based family and life educator whose workshop Effective Co-parenting teaches separating parents to put the kids first and understand their needs during separation and divorce.

"Often what happens is, in the process, (parents) are remiss in understanding what the experience is like for kids."

Four tips:

1. Parents need to love their children more than they dislike their parenting partner. Put aside differences for the kids' sake [...]

Much Like 'The Marriage Ref,' Company Aims to Make Divorce Fair

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:18:16 +0100

Love that we are mentioned in the same breath! I think it would be a great idea to have someone like me on the panel so that I could be the reality check of what might happen if they do not get their act together. Often times people end up on the doorsteps of Divorce not realizing what lies ahead. Yes – some marriages have run their course and an ending is in everyone’s best interest, but that is not the case for many. Others unfortunately get caught up in ego based re [...]

GUEST BLOG: From Mark L. in Florida

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:53:43 +0100

I knew she had a boyfriend. Things just didn’t seem right. I moved out and tried everything I could to save it.

The week of the divorce seems emblazoned in my mind. I knew I would NEVER forget the date. It was just a couple of weeks past my 30th birthday. My daughter was 11. The boys were 8 and 7. We got married at 18 – we knew it all.

To say I was bitter is an understatement. Just months before I found out that [...]

You Are 100% Accountable

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:33:47 +0100

While you may want to ensure that your ex pays big time for leaving you and breaking up your family – this is not a positive way to move on!

Focusing on revenge and the past means you are not focusing on moving on!! Be very careful for this path is ridden with bombs that will blow up-- mostly in your face! You are playing the victim regardless of how you want to disguise it!

They say that time heals all wounds. This statement is laden with a false sense of secu [...]

PLANNING IN ADVANCE IS A MUST FOR STRESS FREE CO-PARENTING

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:51:07 +0100

Juggling holidays, work and kids schedules for most families is challenging but for single parents it can be daunting. Now more then ever, as divorce and extended families have become the norm, parents look for tips on how to co-parent stress free.

First and foremost set aside your ego and personal battles.

The holiday season whether Christmas, thanksgiving or the summer are often a sensitive reminder of wishful thinking of what otherwise could have b [...]

The Parent Left Behind

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:17:24 +0100

How to make it easier on the Parent Staying Home

It is one thing to get used to being a single parent but another getting used to being “left behind” as you watch your kids drive away on summer vacation with your ex. So many parents dread their kids going away but, there are some practical steps you can take to relieve the stress and actually enjoy this time:

Plan well in advance with your ex when their vacation times will be, so you too can plan. You can then make arran [...]

Detailed Parenting Plans Make Planning for Summer Vacation Much Easier and Less Stressful

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:35:28 +0100

The best gift parents can give to themselves and their children is a well thought out detailed parenting plan. Why? Because it avoids a lot of unnecessary debate and stress down the road. Of course the best time to negotiate and write this plan is when you first divorce or separate, but it is never too late.

Good, comprehensive parenting plans cover; money, schedules, education, health, sports and much more. They also should have detailed plans and agreements around s [...]

Summer Vacationing with One Half the Money and One Parent

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:12:25 +0100

How to have fun and survive the recession

Divorce is hard on the pocket book – period. You still have the children,which is great, but with half or less than half the money, it can be stressful. While this presents a challenge for day to day living it also makes planning summer holidays, even more interesting. Who wants to say no---no parent does and so as usual, regardless of the decreased disposable income, you plan to [...]

Is It Wise to Save Money and Vacation Together?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 21:01:32 +0100

Can two parents vacation together after a separation? Yes, but you can only do this if you and your former spouse get along really well and have learned to respect each other’s boundaries and different parenting styles. This arrangement is not one to be taken lightly. For many separated couples, there may be some “feelings”still lingering, as well as some existing resentment from the former union. If there are any o [...]

What are some of the other options...

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:13:41 +0100

What are some of the other options for dealing with our home in our divorce/separation when selling it is not an option because it either will not sell or we would have to sell at such a loss that it simply would be financially unwise?

What to do with your house during divorce/separation?
Do we have to hold off on our divorce agreement until we can figure out what to do with the house?

The problem may couples are faced with is what to do with their home. For most North [...]

Does how you Choose to Move Through Divorce Affect the Rest of your Life?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:54:22 +0100

Life after divorce/separation

The answer is YES! When you are facing life’s challenges, divorce being one of them, we can either play the victim or take 100% responsibility and be accountable. It is in your power to choose.

Playing the victim and laying the foundation for a disempowering future sounds like:

   • It is their fault

   • They did this to our family/life

   • We would not be here if [...]

5 Things you should NEVER do when you get Divorced

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:01:44 +0100

1. Avoid at all costs hiring lawyers that claim they are going to fight for a “win” for you. There is no such thing as divorce in the traditional system is a zero sum game. There are no winners.

2. Never file affidavits about your spouse in the courts that claim to be “fact” but are filled with “perception.” This will destroy relationships forever and cause huge unnecessary pain and suffering. Consider some of the famou [...]

The Economy and Divorce - Tips for getting through it in challenging economic times

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:58:23 +0100

We know that “money” can be one of the biggest stressors for a couple. So given the current state of the economy, are we going to see more divorces?

It is an interesting question and I believe the answer is going to be “yes.” Those who have decided to get a divorce are going to and should do everything they can to do it in a way that does not further destroy their net worth.

So here are a few tips:

Avoid the traditional model of hiring divorce atto [...]

Sparing Your Children from Divorce

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:00:00 +0100

The very nature of the traditional system's adversarial approach allows children and money to be used as bargaining chips. Parents do not intentionally use their children as pawns but regardless of intention, that is exactly what happens. There is usually a tug-of-war, known as position bargaining, over money and/or children.

When spouses feel cornered, they come out fighting - and will use whatever ammunition is available. The more threatened they feel, the more powerful the ammuniti [...]

Fairway Divorce Solutions Expands into the U.S.!

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:11:22 +0100

Less than a year following Fairway Divorce Solutions’ rapid Canadian expansion, I am excited to announce that as of tomorrow, we begin franchising our divorce solutions in the U.S.!

People from across North America, who are affected by divorce, have been calling us seeking our “#1 alternative way to divorce”, and now we will offer our business model and services to a location near you.

Helping us bring Fairway Divorce Solutions® to major centers across the co [...]

Empowering You Through Divorce

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 00:22:20 +0100

Empowering You Through Divorce

There are only two important matters in divorce: money and children. So what is all the talk about “my legal rights”? Do they matter? Of course they do. But it makes sense to focus on sound financial decisions that ensure a positive and financially secure future, and to develop a cooperative co-parenting plan.

You are concerned with being treated fairly. Being treated fairly is about empowered decision-makin [...]

Holiday Survival Tips for Adult Children of Divorce

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 07:00:00 +0100

Now more than ever, divorce and extended families have become the norm. While common, planning for the holidays between separated families can be a major undertaking.

For adults whose parents are divorced, this means scheduling celebrations with each parent - separately. And if by happenstance your situation is just like Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon in their new comedy Four Christmases, then that means that you have to plan for four holiday celebrations - two betwe [...]

Adversarial divorce does not achieve a win-win.

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 07:00:00 +0100

The high number of divorces today has created a fertile feeding ground for the legal profession, and while lawyers are certainly eating well, there are more losers than winners among the embattled participants.

Divorce has become lucrative for the legal community. Spurred on by ambitious legal beagles, they challenge each client's grant for child care and custody, division of property and assets, and ongoing financial support. By the time divorce is settled, the process is extremely a [...]