Blog Entries

New Family Law Act in BC– Leads the Pack in Canada

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:34:07 +0100

The fact that Bill 16, Family Law Act has been passed is a sign that the traditional system needed reform. The new act addresses some of the fundamental problems in the system and we look optimistically to the impact it has on divorce with children and families in general. I do not think anyone can argue or dispute the massive amount of destruction to assets and children that has occurred in our adversarial system. The courts have been needlessly backlogged with mindless arguments and positi [...]

Mediation vs. Litigation - A common sense trend to Resolving Matrimonial Issues

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:21:59 +0100

Finding yourself on the doorsteps of divorce is hard enough emotionally but add the multitude of decisions on how to divorce that are going to have to be made and it can feel completely overwhelming. While there are only two main areas for decision-making; kids and money, coming to resolution can take years and use up a lot of your hard earned wealth. While there is more of a trend towards divorce mediation, many people still feel the need to hire top guns with the perception that their "r [...]

No Nonsense Divorce Tips for Men

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:16:01 +0100

Divorce does not need to define you but how you choice to move through it can. The old antage - Fail to plan - plan to fail is rite with wisdom. While finding yourself on the door steps of divorce may not have been your plan - you can start taking charge. Set the course and commit to take control of the things you can and manage the things you can't. There is light at the end of the tunnel and if you embrace the lessons, the light will shine bright.

Tips to set the course and stay t [...]

You Just Don't Do It For Me Anymore!

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:56:21 +0100

Those were the harsh words I heard 10 years ago just before 9/11. Sept 11 marks the day the towers came down and with that the chaos and pain that followed. For me it marks not only the global nightmare but also the time that my personal walls came crashing down. After 8 years of what I thought was a good marriage my husband announced to me "I just did not do it for him anymore". At that time we had three young children, 7, 5 and 3 months and so the reality of divorce with children was sim [...]

Friends After Divorce - Possible? Recommended?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:30:41 +0100

Most will agree that being friends after a relationship is difficult as the question of ulterior motive and resentment can hover in the clouds. If friendship is in the cards it requires clear boundaries, a very understanding new partner and an ability of both parties to take responsibility and be accountable to the outcome of their relationship. The truth is that if two people who once were lovers can be friends there can be a comfortable and enduring trust that can serve to help lay the fou [...]

Balancing Back to School Budget

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 23:08:50 +0100

Balance Needs VS Wants

There is a ton of pier pressure around back to school clothing and supplies. Make a list of their “needs” and agree that the children will get one or two of their “wants” met and then allocate a set dollar amount that they are free to spend.

Set Budget in Advance of Shopping

Before you venture into any store with the wondering eyes of your children set a non-negotiable budget. This is not just for their pu [...]

How to Reduce Back to School Stress While Co-Parenting

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 23:07:58 +0100

Agreeing on Priorities Early On is Essential

Back to school is a busy time of year for any family, but for those also trying to juggle the challenges of co-parenting it can be even more exhausting and stressful. Balancing the needs and wants of kids while also dealing with trying to accommodate the different value systems or priorities of each household can be result in unnecessary conflict. Like most events in the lives of co-parenting families, parents are best to plan in advanc [...]

Are we glamorizing divorce for the next generation?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 23:06:26 +0100

Marriages end in Divorce on average close to 50%. While it is impossible to accurately determine what the stats are in all the separate States, it seems that where there is more celebrity and wealth - there are more divorces and so perhaps setting a bit more of the tone for "Divorce". Do we understand the impact that we are having on the next generation and how we are actually glamorizing divorce? We seem to hold the wealthy and celebrity in such high media regard that when things go si [...]

Proceed With Caution: Dating After Divorce

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 22:08:31 +0100

Venturing into the dating game after divorce can be exciting and
treacherous all at the same time. Many jump back in without really
taking the time to ensure that they do not repeat the same mistakes and
end up attracting Mr. or Ms. wrong all over again. Knowing when you are
ready does require introspection, time and hard work but there are a few
tips that can at least set you on the right path.

Feeling your pain

We are conditioned to run from pain -- but in fact learnin [...]

Prenups - I do or I don't?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 16:41:52 +0100

I have been involved with helping clients put together prenups and while I agree that some form of pre marriage agreement is prudent if there are a lot of assets, we have gone overboard. The biggest problem is that prenups simply do not lay the foundation for a partnership. Take for example two people that go into a business together 50/50 and they both contribute in their way to the business but only one of the parties gets to keep all the benefits if they decide to part. I am guessing that [...]

Getting Divorced: What is the Smart First Step?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:50:46 +0100

The other day a woman called for advice. She just found out three
days before that her husband was leaving. She has been a
stay-at-home-mom with three children under 17 and maintains a healthy
lifestyle supported by her husband's good fortune in the market. She
wanted to know her rights and what lawyer she should call. She was in
tears and all she could get out was that she needed to know her "legal
rights." In an effort to calm her down and stop what was about to be [...]

Divorce and Your Financial Planning

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 07:00:00 +0100

"Fail to Plan. Plan to Fail."

Does this apply to our money and divorce as well? After 20 years as a financial advisor, watching the market implode and explode, does it make sense to add "Divorce Financial Planning" to our agenda"? When we do our personal financial planning we consider retirement, medical, education etc but we certainly do not consider divorce, and if we do, we do not talk about it.

When we set our goals and [...]

Come on Hollywood get your ACT together

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:53:25 +0100

Marriages end in Divorce on average close to 50%. While it is impossible to accurately determine exactly what the stats are in Hollywood as they do not separate out the “stars”, it must be well over 90%. Do the “stars” not understand the impact they have on society especially the younger and more vulnerable? Do they not take any responsibility for the legacy they are leaving?

It was bad and now gone to worst with the newest to join the [...]

Divorce to be easier in Ontario – Long overdue

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 20:56:12 +0100

This last week’s decision in Ontario to streamline a less confrontational court process for couples faced with divorce is fantastic and long overdue for our Ontario system. It is public knowledge that the courts are back-logged and Ontario is no exception to this unfortunate situation. The cost for an adversarial divorce case is costing tax payers a lot of money.

From last weeks rumblings we see that the system has put the realization in black and white: Status Quo i [...]

Guest Blog from Fairway Waterloo-Wellington

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:15:40 +0100

Get out of your Own Way

People have an uncanny ability to get in their own way when it comes to dealing with difficult situations. When we are stressed or operating in a state of fear, it’s easy to get caught up in our emotions and that’s when we lose objectivity and perspective. We justify our thoughts and can convince ourselves with statements like: it’s ok, we are right, we deserve it, they owe me. And while most of the time it’s harmless, this pattern of thinking can easily get in the wa [...]

Why are we so mad at Arnold?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 24 May 2011 23:10:17 +0100

Are we mad because he had a child with another women or because he hid the child or because he cheated on America’s royal sweetheart? Or all of the above?

A bit confusing really since we know that infidelity happens all the time and is responsible for many marriage breakups. And let's face it - where there is sex there is potential for a baby. Hello! I guess the entire media craze seems just a bit surreal. Maria has been betrayed and that hurts a lot - no [...]

Dads using facebook to position for child custody - some no nonsense advice for Mothers!

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Wed, 18 May 2011 07:00:00 +0100

There seems to be a trend of Mothers accusing Fathers of using facebook to make them look like “good” Dads. A number of women are complaining about “deadbeat Dads” using facebook to post pictures that show Dad in a good light so to position them legally and otherwise.

What people seem to not understand is that when a couple divorces, history is rewritten. The parties will see their marriage and the roles they played in a totally different light than when they were ma [...]

Mother's Day - a Fine Balance for Stepmoms and Biological Moms

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Tue, 10 May 2011 16:39:06 +0100

Mother’s Day - A special day set aside to celebrate our mothers and grandmothers. On the surface this seems easy enough – buy a card, some flowers and perhaps prepare dinner. It is also a fun day for the younger children to take a stab at preparing breakfast and serving it to mom in bed. The image is full of fun and laughter.

But, for blended families this day can cause stress when trying to find the right balance between attention towards mom and step mom.&nbs [...]

Guest Blog from Fairway Waterloo-Wellington

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 22:25:38 +0100

Spring Break

Depending where you live in the country, Spring Break is upon us and with tens of thousands of kids out of school for a week, there is an excited energy out there. Airports will soon be overloaded with holiday travelers seeking to escape the winter weather.

However, what was designed to be an opportunity to rest, relaxation and rejuvenation for both children and their parents; can sometimes become a source of stress, particularly for separated and divorced familie [...]

Emotional Clean Break in a Divorce - Possible or Not?

karen@fairwaydivorce.com — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 18:51:07 +0100

Lets face it, divorce sucks! However, it does not need to define the rest of your life, unless you let it. We all know that playing the victim is not the best way to move through divorce, yet over and over again that is exactly what happens. Perhaps it is a bit subtler, maybe you just complain a lot about your ex. But even that takes the focus off of you (where it should be) and onto someone else (where it should not be). I recently received a query from a [...]