Most people know that divorce is costly, but just how costly is it? Some estimates put the divorce industry at a staggering $30 billion dollar industry with 60% of the civil court cases devoted to divorce.. Legal fees that couples pay to divest themselves of a relationship can cost thousands of dollars. Estimates range in the neighborhood of $15,000 to $30,000 for an amicable divorce. Image the costs when it is not amicable. In addition, some estimates say that couples could lose up to 75% of their assets when they divorce. 

When the decision is made to divorce, it is imperative that they take great care when deciding what to do with their assets and liabilities.

The first step is organizing all of your financial information, making sure it is up to date. If you are going to separate accounts, then make sure you keep track of expenses you incur for joint assets until finalization of the divorce.

If you separate accounts make sure you cancel any joint credit cards and open up separate credit card accounts.

Remember if there are children, they have to be supported; it is an obligation of both parents, not just the parent where the children reside.

Get up to date valuations on the matrimonial home, defined pension benefit plans, stocks, bonds, IRA’s and other financial holdings.

Don’t try to hide financial holdings, it will cost more in the end and enhance the sense of distrust between you and your spouse.

Pull your credit report; know what it contains so no surprises occur during the separation or after the divorce.

Be open to negotiating creative alternatives to separating your assets and liabilities. Getting angry and refusing to budge on any one item will generally cost more in the long run.

Use a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst; they have the ability to help with the division of assets and liabilities that makes sense and preserves your hard earned money.

Obviously when you and your spouse make the decision to divorce, and if you have children, it will have an impact on them. Depending on how you and your spouse handle this matter with the children, will go a long way in helping them adjust to the new family dynamic.

Children will adjust to the changing circumstances, but it is necessary for you as the parent to recognize their ability to deal with the situation. There are things that you can do to help them understand, no matter their age to adapt to the changes in your marriage as well as the changes that will occur for them.  Remember your children are going through a “divorce” too.

1. Use age appropriate explanations as to the changing family dynamic. Be honest, yet reassuring that they will still be loved and nurtured by the other parent.
2. Don’t let your children get caught up in the arguments between you and your spouse.
3. Ensure that your children have regular contact with the other spouse. Don’t try to use your children as pawns in the “divorce war”.  Make your children feel comfortable about the time they spend with the other parent.
4. Reinforce to your children that they do not have to choose between you and the other parent; it is fine to love both mommy and daddy.
5. Don’t try to get your children to be an informant on your spouse. Respect their relationship with your spouse as you want the children to respect your relationship with them. Don’t give them the third degree whenever they spend time with the other spouse.
6. Never say negative things about the other spouse to your children. Remember they are that child’s parent to.
7. Use the time with your children productively. They still have homework and outside activities.
8. Let them express their fears and concerns about the changes in their life.
9. Recognize that you don’t have to have all the answers, and say “I don’t know”.
10. Take time for yourself, divorce is stressful on everyone involved.
11. If you feel your children need professional help, get it for them.

Divorce is difficult, but it can be managed. Helping your children to adjust and doing what is in their best interest is vital to navigating through a divorce. The marriage contract can be broken, but the parenting contract is a lifetime.