A title about your blog

If you wondering. Should I stay? Or should I go? Should I ----- should I?   The best way to make a sound and grounded decision about your relationship is to use the LWD Approach.  

Listen  and Watch – this means really HEAR and SEE what the other person is doing or saying. If you happen to be in a verbally abusive relationship or just one where communication is not healthy then stop doing what you have always done in the past .  Do whatever that may be and start listening. If your natural reaction is to jump in at your defense, then try saying nothing or asking a very non threatening question such  as “Can you please explain what your mean or I think I understand what you are saying, is it that…………..”  Go against your natural reaction. Listen and then depersonalize what you heard. By doing that you start to take yourself out of the equation and really determine what the issue is.  Pretend that you are the audience and your spouse is the stage. Is this a good play? Is it one you want to see again? Is this the way someone with self-esteem and respect behaves? Or is it that the audience is too judgmental, controlling or demanding? Of is it that you have outgrown the purple Barney puppet show and it is just simply time to move on to another play?  If you are caught up in the play yourself you cannot be objective so you have to depersonalize it. 

Try and see you and the other person from a third person’s perspective. What would they say? Would they see things differently? What would they advise? What if that third person was you – then what your advice be? Sometimes the answer is very clear but we are just not ready to SEE or HEAR it. So get real and take a leap of faith either way. Any action is better then no action at all.

By doing nothing you are saying that status quo is OK or at least less painful then you perceive the other options to be.