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B.Z. - Client
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L.S. - Client
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K. Y. - Client
"I spoke to my ex-husband on the phone the other night on what would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. Our conversation was authentic and completely loving. Thank you to Fairway Divorce for attaining a truthful and mindful division of our lives."

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Step Parents - Rights or No Rights?

Posted by: kstewart in Untagged on May 25, 2010

Step Parents – Rights or No Rights?

One famous person’s parental heartache has awakened new interest and opinions when it comes to the rights of stepparents. Sandra Bullock’s recent personal split has raised questions surrounding her custody and parental role of Jessie James’ biological children. While legal rights are likely far from a reality, what about the emotional rights and/or obligation to the children left behind?

Speaking from experience, I have found that it is a fine balance when it comes to knowing and respecting the boundaries of your ex and their children. While the role of an “ex-stepparent” seems like a confusing one, it is critical to set realistic expectations when it comes to the new role you will play in the life of the child that once lived under your roof.

The key to creating a healthy and beneficial relationship with your ex’s children begins with having a positive relationship with both your former spouse and the child’s other birth parent. At a bare minimum there should not be any apparent animosity between the adults. If the two birth parents agree against your wishes that you should not play a role in the child’s life, then it is best to step away or withdraw yourself for the time being. After living through what is most likely the second separation of parental figure, the absolute last thing any child needs in this situation is additional conflict. Stay focused on what is in the best interest of the child. Upon separating try to work with independent negotiators to look at creating a parenting plan that creates a role for your involvement on some level. While the future may bring an opportunity to reconnect at a different level, this is a time to really step back and to take the high road.

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