Fairway Divorce Solutions

The idea that the pain and frustration left after a divorce may somehow impact your child’s ability to have a healthy attitude towards relationship is a hard pill to swallow.   For most divorced parents, pondering the question is prudent.  Unfortunately a large percentage of divorced couples lack the self-discipline required to remain closed-mouthed when is comes to matters involving an ex.   While it may seem natural to “vent” now and again, the results of this can be devastating to a child who begins to feel that one half of them is inadequate or their roots are flawed.

 Self-esteem is the foundation of relationship choices.   And someone with low self-esteem runs a much higher risk of ending up in a toxic relationship.  These experiences are part of a vicious cycle that will further shape attitudes and choices towards partners, trust and marriage.  Parents want to protect their children and save them from making the same mistakes they did, but their actions often fall short of their intentions.  Many simply do not understand the long-term damage they do to their children’s future relationships when the speak ill of their ex.  In this case, ignorance is not bliss.  It is destructive.   Lessons not learned will be repeated, if not in the parent’s life then most likely in their children’s.

Moving past the pain of a divorce involves taking the focus off the ex and putting in into your own emotional growth – the one place you actually have complete control.  Focusing on yourself is sometimes difficult, but it is also some of the most worthwhile work you will ever do.  By creating a happier, healthier version of yourself you are laying the foundation for a positive future relationship for your children.  In my opinion, this is truly one of the best gifts a parent can give a child.