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Discussion on divorce

You Are 100% Accountable

Posted by: kstewart in Untagged on Feb 18, 2010

While you may want to ensure that your ex pays big time for leaving you and breaking up your family – this is not a positive way to move on!

Focusing on revenge and the past means you are not focusing on moving on!! Be very careful for this path is ridden with bombs that will blow up-- mostly in your face! You are playing the victim regardless of how you want to disguise it!

They say that time heals all wounds. This statement is laden with a false sense of security. The truth is that time will heal wounds but how they are healed is entirely up to you. You can band aid a wound such that the scar still goes very deep or you can work from deep within and repair it all the way to the surface. The repaired scar may be stronger then the original skin. The first is a quick and easy solution giving you the limited results that you deserve and the second can be life altering. You must be prepared to be 100% accountable. So what does that actually mean? Does it mean that it is your fault if your husband left you or had an affair? The answer is that you are not to blame for his actions or inactions but you are responsible and accountable to how you respond to them. This seems too obvious but in reality very few individuals really get this. Consider an extreme case to provide the context of how empowering this truth is. Lets say you were raped as a young teenager. You were the victim at the brutal hands of the perpetrator and no one will debate that. But now consider the statement “you are 100% accountable” – this example puts this statement into an entirely different context. How powerful is that? You are in control of one thing and that is how you react to what happens to you. Your actions, and thoughts define the event. The event does not define you! So if you focus your efforts and attention on him – then they will not be focused on creating a better life for yourself and for that you have no one to blame but you. Too many are stuck years after they divorce – they just seem to not be able to move on. Why – because they have not learned to be accountable! Simple.

Stop yourself in your tracks and change your self-talk. Surround yourself with people who are positive and self-actualized – it will rub off on you and they will not encourage you to stay in victim mode.

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